• The life of a Pro-Life Activist. •

I've been listening to the song "This is your time" by Michael W. Smith lately. It's so beautiful, and not just because of the dedication behind it. It's something that should apply to all of our lives. God has been dealing with me on it, and it has gotten to the point where I feel like I have to tell everyone how it affects me, the only problem is it seems that no one cares to listen. Hmm..., so this being my diary and all, you get to hear about it.

If you don't know the meaning behind the song, it was written for Cassie Rene Bernall. She was a victim in the Columbine Highschool shooting. Her and Rachel's legacy have always touched my heart. Maybe because I no longer go to public school because I was almost a victim in a school shooting the same year as Columbine. Maybe because I see thousands of Youth's lives going to hell because they're putting their faith, trust, and beliefs in something other than God and only seeming to stray farther from what their intended paths are.

Whichever one, one thing is true, and that is this is our time.

I've been wondering lately if I were to die today what would God say to me when I reached Heaven. Would it be "Well done good and faithful servant"? Or would it be "I never knew you."? I mean, I know God knows me, but I'm tired of feeling like I don't do enough. I'm tired of sitting on my butt doing no work for him, and just being lazy. I'm a bad child, and I've got to change.

God has laid out four things under and in front of my feet. My path is set for me to walk on and to achieve, and yet I still do nothing. Those four things are school prayer, getting abortion illegalized, singing, and reaching the youth and children of this world.

If you read my testimony you'll understand the school prayer thing. Schools definatly need prayer, they're only getting worse. Violence is increasing, and all of this isn't counting for the sex, drugs, and hate that are rapidly growing. I went to public school until 7th grade when my family took me out because due to a racial gang, my life was at state. Had it not been for one of my friends telling me what she overheard, me telling my family, my family telling the schoolboard, the schoolboard checking, I may not be here today. If one lady, Madeline Murrah O'haire, can get prayer taken out of school with nothing on her side, we can get it put back in with God leading us.

My layout is obviously explanitory for Pro-Life. It's murder, plain and simple. I don't really have time to go into explanations on that considering any intelligent human knows, but if you need to hear it for yourself click one of the "Teen Central" links to the side, or go here.

God called me to sing. I've been prophesied over twice to sing, and I can gradually see myself getting better. After all, God is not a man that he should lie. He didn't place music on my heart for no reason. Music is my passion, I love it, just like I love children. I'm constantly singing or making some kind of raquet. With that he's also placed the ability to write songs in me as well. The devil knew this and had me doing it for the world instead of God, until God pulled me back. I gave the world 100%, you think that I'm going to give God any less? Psh! I pray that God will let me sing in front of hundreds or more people, so that my spirit can pour out the passion of God that I have, and maybe others will see. I hope God uses me as that type of vessel.

Along with those prophesies I'm also going to be able to lead my generation to Jesus. It's so crazy. It seems like all of my life I've made an impression with people, and to find out that? It's amazing.

I love children and my heart goes out to them. I've voluntarily taught at the school where my aunt works at, and I see how many children are abused and don't get enough love. That's why I want to be an Elementary teacher, so that I can show the kids love, and that someone out there does care, because if they don't find love from the ones they love most, they're going to turn to sex, alcohol, drugs, and God only knows what else. They need to know Jesus is there. They will know Jesus is there.

All of this is my time. This is my dance, and I can't back out of it, even though I'd like to sometimes. It was set up for me, and God doesn't bring anything on someone unless he knows that they can handle it. I have to live every moment of it I have to live every moment for Jesus.

So, God, here I am. I've finally fully surrendered, and I want to be all that you've set for me, starting now.

The harvest is many, but the workers are so few. I want to be one of the workers. Tell me your ways. Show me how. Guide me on your truth, and teach me.

Here I am. I surrender my life to the use of your plan. Here I am. I will do as you say, I will go where you send.

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"I am not going to apologize for speaking of the name of Jesus. If my friends have to become my enemies for me to be with my best friend, Jesus, then that's fine with me." - Rachel Joy Scott

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Returned? - 09.13.2005